Do I Use Too Many Exclamation Points, Or Am I Overthinking It?

Hi there!! Did that sound friendly enough? Casual enough? Are you picturing me with a pleasant smile as I craft our digital greeting? Do I look pretty? Be honest...It’s totally fine if I do. Great even! That goes perfectly with the mild tempered yet excitable, cool and fun, but not too desperate, persona I’m going for. Wait, shit. Was that second ! too many !!s ?! Yep. Definitely. Fuck. 

Welcome to my daily process writing corporate emails. It usually goes much quicker than this, with the addition and subtraction of punctuation flowing across the screen until I think I’ve maybe, finally, gotten it right. The annoying thing about work emails is that they demand urgency and consistency. You can’t leave a question unanswered for too long without appearing lazy, and your words shouldn’t inflict a change in tone at risk of starting an elusive digital spat. 

Maybe I am overthinking it. Maybe no one cares if I sound nice or not. To be fair, I’ve never gotten an attitude focused follow up. No stray question marks interrogating my response. Nothing at all. 

So what’s with all the stress?

Is it because I’m an intern who doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers? Sure. Is it because I’m a young woman with a name that most people can guess doesn’t belong to a white body? Definitely. 

With color comes presumption and hidden consequence, oftentimes from those certain that they hold no prejudice. It’s not that I’m not nice, or friendly, or willing to work, or whatever. But I’m not thattttt nice. No one is. That’d be weird. The very idea of it litters my brain with images of pursed smiles paired with a fixed shark-like gaze. Off putting for sure, but pair that with brown skin and some may see it as a threat. 

SO here I am at a crossroad of wanting to present myself as “good,” but not too good for my job. Warm and feminine, but not ditzy. Professional, but not bitchy. Or in other words...a dude. *ugh* 

Again, I could be doing the thing where I over analyze an idea in my head thanks to three cups of coffee and a blank laptop screen. But my gut tells me I’m not. A couple of weeks ago I read a quote that I haven't been able to shake. I think I've been waiting for a good enough reason to share it with you - whoever you may be. Today I decided I am the reason, and that's enough.

The great Ruth Whippman once said, “Until female norms and standards are seen as every bit as valuable and aspirational as those of men, we will never achieve equality." Think of “female” as all women of every creed and I think we might be onto something. Luckily I work for a company that quiets my worries with a diverse population and loads of digital smiley faces.

Even so, I’ll have to work on caring more about what I say and less about how it looks. After all I’m always going to be black, and I’ll always be proud of it. I can only imagine this sort of power emailing takes form as a concise message with no more than two exclamation points, bookended with an “x - B” for the drama. Right? Right.