“You’re your own worst critic.” This saying, true as it may be, happens to be my least favorite conglomerate of words. It’s too short, too broad, and too ambitious to tackle the problems it tries to face. It also happens to be one of the most common responses to feelings of inadequacy. Maybe that’s why I hate it so much. There’s no personalization.
Everyone’s heard it at least once and it might’ve even helped. Cliches are funny in that way. They’re universal and easy to toss around - a momentary answer. It’s sort of like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole. However I’m sure we can all agree that doing so would be an insane way to treat such a large injury. There’d have to be a step two, and a step three, and four, and five....and however many more to get the job done. Personally, I think we should treat our minds with the same meticulous care.
We are our own worst critics, it’s an undeniable fact. But what are the next steps in understanding this phenomenon?
I, frankly, don’t know - but my step sister might! Her name’s Tete, she’s smart, cute (single - if that means something to ya) and a ~real life~ therapist who I’ve pestered into helping me write this post. Keep on reading to find her tips on battling self deprecation.
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Being your own worst critic can either lead you to a healthier relationship with yourself or a very deprecating one. It’s a relative term that fuels some people to greatness and others to depression. However, it may not be the best approach to being kind to yourself. We are, overall, very imperfect people who have not been given a blueprint in navigating life.
The term is somewhat unforgiving to this notion and doesn’t allow the forgiveness we should seek from ourselves when life disappoints, and moreover, when we disappoint ourselves. It highlights weaknesses and doesn’t celebrate strengths. It captures the ugliness of our humanity and disregards its beauty.
Step one:
Allowing yourself to fuck up and use your critiques to grow and glow up!
Allowing yourself to fuck up and use your critiques to grow and glow up!
Step two:
Realizing we are all just winging it out here. Comparing yourself to what others have or don’t have, is not your journey or your path!
Realizing we are all just winging it out here. Comparing yourself to what others have or don’t have, is not your journey or your path!
Step three:
Use your challenges as tools for growth. Your mistakes bring nuggets of knowledge and understanding which, in turn, can fuel wisdom. Your mistakes teach you the consequences of poor decision making, which strengthens your ability to be reflective and thoughtful the next time around.
Use your challenges as tools for growth. Your mistakes bring nuggets of knowledge and understanding which, in turn, can fuel wisdom. Your mistakes teach you the consequences of poor decision making, which strengthens your ability to be reflective and thoughtful the next time around.
Step Four:
Forgive yourself. It is unproductive to punish yourself for who you are or who you are becoming. It perpetuates negative emotions that can hinder your wellness and healthy development. Learning to forgive yourself is essentially learning to love yourself as well.
Forgive yourself. It is unproductive to punish yourself for who you are or who you are becoming. It perpetuates negative emotions that can hinder your wellness and healthy development. Learning to forgive yourself is essentially learning to love yourself as well.
Step Five:
Be kind to yourself, and be conscious of the words you use to speak about yourself. We seldom talk about manifesting goodness in one’s life by the power of the tongue. What you put in the universe through words has energy that can affect our perceptions of self and our experiences.
Be kind to yourself, and be conscious of the words you use to speak about yourself. We seldom talk about manifesting goodness in one’s life by the power of the tongue. What you put in the universe through words has energy that can affect our perceptions of self and our experiences.
That about sums it up :)
xx - T
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