I like taking nudes, and that’s okay

*Disclaimer: If you are under 18 years old taking and distribution nude photos or videos is child pornography and a federal crime in the United States.*

Written By: Simone Scott 

I was in a long distance relationship for 3.5 years.  Like a real long distance relationship where we lived on opposite ends of the country. While we managed to see each other every two months or so, it was really hard to feel connected in between, especially in the beginning when we were figuring things out. So along with the constant FaceTimes and texting, he requested that I send nudes. 

I was resistant at first because it was more taboo at the time. I only really knew about the celebrity leaks like Jennifer Lawrence and Vanessa Hudgens, and for the most part what I heard was that, if you don’t want your nudes to get out, don’t take them. But I was young, in love with my boyfriend, and completely trusted him. So despite my own reservations, I took them for him, and only for him. 

At first it was awkward for me. I didn’t really know what to do, it was hard to get the angles he wanted, and at the time I didn’t love the way I looked. In retrospect, a lot of my discomfort and embarrassment came from doing something purely for him instead of myself (which I’ve come to love). I felt a lot of pressure to take good pictures to make him happy, and I was scared of losing him to all of the temptations that come with being long distance.

Thankfully, I felt comfortable sharing these thoughts and feelings with him and he was understanding. A lot of the pressure I was feeling, I’d put on myself. He wanted to be with me because he liked me and photos of my body weren’t going to make or break it, so he stopped asking and I started sending them when I wanted to. On days where I felt good about myself, or got something cute, or was just in the mood I’d snap him a saucy pic. He loved it and sometimes he’d return the favor - which, to be honest I don’t get much out of but I appreciated the reciprocation. I felt closer to him. We were able to be intimate despite being 1,200 miles apart. 

We eventually broke up because our lives seemed to pull us in different directions. When we did I asked him to delete whatever photos he had of me and to send proof that it was gone, and he did. And with that relationship ending, I entered the world of being single where nudes are like a currency, and I once again had to navigate how I felt about taking and sending them. 

I’ve come to realize that I feel empowered when I take nudes of myself and I get pleasure out of sharing them. When I take pictures of myself, I’m exercising power over my form. I control the angles, the lighting, and everything in frame. When I share them, I control who gets to see what and when. A major part of this is only sending nudes to people I trust and being careful not to send them when I feel pressured. I also make sure they’re unidentifiable, cropping out my face and other identifying factors, in case they were to ever be leaked.

Snapping nudes also helps me with self-acceptance and love. I do so much for my body (or at least try to) when I eat healthy, exercise, and get all types of beauty treatments. But I realized I rarely look at myself and acknowledge the beauty that’s already present and appreciate all that my body does for me. Now, I try to have these moments of appreciation to see myself and say this is who I am. I certainly don’t love everything about what I see, and I question if it’s even possible to love everything about yourself. But it’s important not to judge, hate, or criticize the parts of you that you don’t love. Sometimes, it just is what it is.

There’s this tweet by @urgirlblair that says “American culture fear mongered me into never taking pictures of my body because “what if they get leaked?” But now, I’ve come to realize there’s nothing shameful about a naked body, AND I like the way I look so I don’t care if people see. Anyways, I’m drunk. Have a blessed Sunday.” 

That pretty much sums up how I feel about this topic. Yeah it’s “taboo,” but I hope we’re moving towards a culture that doesn’t shame women for their naked bodies and being sexual beings.